


Doubt

by FlickeredHeart



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con Elements, current time
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-06 15:56:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14060382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlickeredHeart/pseuds/FlickeredHeart
Summary: When someone does something so horrible, you never expect them to try to come back into your life and when they do, it’s safe to assume that you’ll feel both broken and bruised. But for Aaron Dingle, this scenario was something that would soon to come through and to say that he was distraught would be an understatement; he didn’t know what hurt more, the fact that this person thought he could just waltz back into his life or the fact that they thought the past wouldn’t come back to the surface. Were they really that arrogant? Did they still see him as this scared little boy that couldn’t speak up for himself? He wasn’t sure, but while he would usually have an idea about how to make his problems go away, just how easy will that be when he uncovers more dark truths?This is set in current time with current events, but Liv has not yet been introduced.





	1. First Time

School finishing for the day was always something most children and teens always found enjoyable, especially when it was a Friday, like today; the weekend had finally arrived and with exam season having just finished, school children around Europe were celebrating as they were granted with not just the weekend freedom but also their mid-term break for Easter. Almost two weeks off from school without the pressure of exams and homework preventing you from fully enjoying yourself. Like most afternoons, Bernice was happily sat in the pub with Daz, the two of them happily talking about Gabby and possible outings they could do together while the teen was free from school for two weeks. Bernice was convinced Gabby had a heart of gold and would never put a foot out of line; whenever she did something wrong, it was always everyone but her daughter’s fault. But because of that, Gabby didn’t have many friends come back to the village with her after school, so when the brunette happily walked into The Woolpack with two unfamiliar teens, Bernice was instantly on her feet, quickly stopping the trio in their tracks so she could make her first judgement on the pair.

“Uhm, mum, this is Lottie and Dan, they’re year 10s that just started in school; their dad has been really ill, I thought maybe they could join us here for tea if that’s alright with you and Daz?” Gabby asked nervously as she looked up at her mum, Bernice’s stern expression instantly softening as she smiled, her hands resting on her hips. “Gabby, that’s so lovely, they’re more than welcome to join us. Lottie, Dan, it’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m Bernice Blackstock, Gabby’s mum. Right, I’ll leave you three to it, go get yourselves some crisps and a drink and come over to us, just let Chas know she can add them to the bill for tea.” The red-head haired woman said warmly, smiling brightly as she quickly went to sit back down with her boyfriend, so she could inform him of the two guests that would be joining them.

The three teens happily walked over to the bar, sitting on a stool each as they chatted to one another while waiting to be served, “so, are you both twins or just born a year apart or something?” Gabby asked, Lottie smiling softly as she looked at her brother for a moment before looking back at the other girl. “We’re twins, we were born twenty minutes apart; I’m the eldest,” she said proudly, chuckling as Dan simply just rolled his eyes and gave her a look. But before he could say anything, Chas walked over to the trio, “okay, guys, what can I get ye?” She asked with a warm smile, usually, she couldn’t tolerate Gabby, especially after everything that had just taken place with Lisa, but she couldn’t let her feelings be known in front of two teenagers she had never met. “I’ll have a glass of orange juice. Mum said could you just put everything on our tab for tea,” Gabby said with a smile, “I’ll have a glass of coke, please,” Lottie responded with a warm smile, “I- uhm, could I just get a glass of 7up, please?” Daniel asked in a much softer voice, biting his bottom lip and looking down at the ground as he started to fidget with his fingers, causing Chas to turn and look over at her son, knowing that he used to act the same way when he used to get nervous when he was little.

At first, Aaron was hesitant to act, but when the younger boy seemed to look over at him and then suddenly rushed out the double doors to get outside, that was when he used his initiative to chase after him; Aaron freezing in his tracks as he watched the younger boy holding onto a nearby wall throwing up into a bush as almost all the colour on is face had washed away to turn him ghostly white. “Hey, whoa, whoa, you alright?” The broader man asked, rushing over to the unwell teen and lightly rubbing his back, startled slightly when he suddenly pulled away from his touch as soon as he had calmed down.

“Don’t touch me,” Dan stated coldly, Aaron’s eyebrows furrowing together as he nodded and stepped back to give the teen some space. “Sorry, I just- do you want me to get you a glass of water?” The older male asked, the pale boy simply just shaking his head and looking down as he wiped his mouth with his sleeve before looking up at the other, “thanks for checking on me, I’m sorry for snapping.” Dan apologized, Aaron, smiling at the other male and assuring him that he didn’t have to thank him. Once he had settled down, Dan went back inside with Aaron and they both went back to their seats, Lottie checking on her brother while Robert checked on his husband.

* * *

As tea time set, Dan and Lottie happily joined Bernice and Daz for dinner, happily conversing amongst themselves while Aaron decided to get behind the bar to help his mum while Robert went back to The Mill to make Sebastian his night feed. But as the night sky came, a very surprising visitor stepped into The Woolpack, the sight being enough for Aaron to drop Paddy’s pint on the ground, rushing off through the back as Chas and Charity had to quickly rush over to pick up the glass and wash the floor. “Paddy, I’m so sorry!” Chas squeaked, standing up and quickly pushing her hair from her face as she bit her bottom lip and looked over at the familiar face of her ex-husband. “I- what are you doing here?” She asked, walking around from behind the bar, her arms folded as she looked up at the other male. “I’m sure you can put two and two together, you haven’t spotted a pair of unfamiliar teens around by any chance?” He asked with a smile, Chas’s face falling and her eyes widening as she looked over at Dan and Lottie as they happily ate with Gabby, Daz and Bernice. “You mean that- that’s our twins?” She whispered, frowning as she took in the sight of the two beautiful babies she had given away to Gordon all those years ago, seeing them so grown up and having turned out so respectful. “You’ve done such an amazing job with them, I’m so glad they were raised by you. Now, you do what you have to do, I’ll go get you a pint and check what’s gotten into Aaron.”

Walking back around behind the bar, Chas happily made Gordon a pint as Aaron came storming from the back and went to walk out, violently pulling away as the older man grabbed his son by the arm to try to speak to him. “Get off me! I told you years ago I was done with ye and I meant every word of it,” the younger teen stated, glaring as he got into his father’s face in an attempt to prove he wasn’t afraid to stand up for himself anymore. Watching everything take place, Lottie took Dan’s hand from underneath the table in an attempt to keep him calm, looking down as she took a bite of her dinner, Dan let out a sigh as he got up and went into the bathroom. “Leave now before I make you leave, neither me or mum want anything to do with ye!” Aaron shouted, everyone in the pub freezing and turning to look at the arguing men.

“I’ll go, don’t worry, but after I finish the lovely pint your mum has just made me,” Gordon stated smugly, turning around to sit on one of the stools at the bar, smiling softly at Chas, but glaring as she didn’t reciprocate; instead making her way over to Paddy to give him a loving kiss on the lips. Aaron just rolled his eyes, storming out the door, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets as he made his way home to The Mill to spend time with his husband and their son.

* * *

After letting his persona crack earlier in the day, Dan was determined not to let things get on top of him again, but seeing his father so smug with Aaron was enough to have things from the night before flash through his mind like a terrifying whirlwind. So here he was, clutching onto the sink and looking in the mirror at himself as his tears washed his face. How was he supposed to go back out there and act normal when he had to keep so many secrets and had to continue to feel so dirty?


	2. Shame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Aaron and Dan struggle to cope with their realities.

Aaron had been acting strange all week and Robert was yet to find out why, at first, he thought maybe his husband had different feelings about having Sebastian living with the two of them; they had been through so much, Robert was at a point where he was beginning to feel like maybe it was too good to be through to be getting his fairytale ending. They had promised to be honest from now on, though, so as soon as he had woken up that morning, the freckled male made his way downstairs to make his son’s morning feed, as well as beginning to make his husband some breakfast. 

Waking up in his and his husband’s bed was enough to put a smile on Aaron’s face as soon as he opened his eyes, his sight went straight to baby Sebastian, who was also now wide awake. It had been years since he had been this happy in himself and so content with the world, so many things that he had always believed meant he wasn’t good enough to be loved or to feel in love, but he was wrong, and he was so glad that he had been, because if he hadn’t, he wouldn’t be alive today. Four years ago, Robert Sugden had saved his life and yes, they had gone through one hell of a rocky road to get where they were now, but Aaron was so proud to call Robert his husband. They were meant to be together and the universe had made sure they saw that. But seeing his father again last night in the pub was enough to drag him back to that dark place in his mind, it was enough to make him want to die again; to make him want to hurt himself again. If Gordon was going to try worm his way back into his and his mum’s life, he knew he had to do something, but he didn’t know what; he had promised Robert there would be no more secrets, but Aaron was convinced that the truth would be enough to make the older man see him in a different light, a light that made him worthless and filthy. How was he supposed to let that just happen? He wasn’t sure, but he was quickly pulled away from his thoughts when Sebastian started to cry for his morning feed; Aaron quickly getting out of bed and walking over to pick the baby up, his entire demeanour changing as he just held the baby in his arms and tried to settle him down. But as soon as he saw the reflection of them both in the mirror, Aaron suddenly broke down sobbing.

* * *

Dan had been up for hours, every time he shut his eyes he saw the vision of Gordon on top of him, pinning him down to the bed. The sounds playing in his head over and over again, begging his father to stop, promising him he would be good and keep his identity hidden. Gordon telling him that he needed to do this to toughen him up. He knew it was wrong, it had hurt so much, but his father warned him that if he told anyone it would happen again. Dan felt so weak, he was fifteen years old, he should’ve been strong enough to stop it from happening, but he wasn’t, and it was killing him. He wasn’t sure what it was he felt now, but he knew it was wrong and he knew he had to do something, so rather than go to school, he waited until he was alone in the house so he could lock himself in the bathroom, lock the door, turn the shower on and strip himself of his clothing, and then finally crumble to the ground in tears as the water just ran down him as he sat on the cold tiled floor and sobbed while he had the chance.

* * *

After composing himself and managing to settle Sebastian long enough for him to quickly throw on some tracksuit bottoms and a vest, Aaron carefully carried the baby down the spiral staircase and made his way to the kitchen; a warm smile taking over as he saw that Robert had made them both breakfast, but his happily surprised expression quickly turned to confusion when he saw Victoria stood there too. “What’s going on?” He asked, watching as his sister-in-law took Sebastian from his arms and smiled up at him, “Robert thought you and him could do with some quality time, so I offered to babysit Seb for the day so you two can do whatever it is newly wedded husbands do, Robert’s made up his morning feed and has packed everything this little guy could possibly need, plus I’ve got the car running outside so he’ll be nice and warm even though he’s still in his jammies. Well, have fun, I’ll call if I need ye, or you call if you need me. See ye later, enjoy your day!” She said cheerfully, happily taking the morning bottle from her brother before making her way to the front door and leaving the two men to their breakfast.

“You seemed a bit off last night when you got in, I thought maybe it was because we haven’t been able to spend much alone time together since getting Seb,” Robert explained with a shrug, the softness in his voice being enough for Aaron to crack once more, walking over to his husband with tears in his eyes; cupping the older male’s face in his hands as he sniffled and shook his head. “I love you so much, I don’t know what I would do without you. I’m terrified of losing you, though, especially now. I- my dad showed up at the pub yesterday and I- Robert, I don’t want you to hate me.” Aaron sobbed, his hands dropping down to the blonde’s chest, crying into his husband’s chest as Robert protectively wrapped his arms around him and just held him. “Shh, it’s alright, everything is going to be alright. But I don’t understand, how would you lose me over your dad showing up?” The older male asked in a soft voice, frowning as Aaron suddenly pulled away from him and walked away from him. “Aaron, whatever it is, I’m on your side, always,” he assured, a choked out sob being the only response the brunette managed to give him as he wiped his tears away and attempted to pull himself together. 

It took over five minutes for Aaron to settle down enough to be able to speak again, but both he and Robert had found their way to sit on the sofa together, Robert taking in everything about his husband as he nervously waited to be told why Aaron thought he would hate him over his dad turning up. “Aaron, if this is because of what I went through with my dad, I’ll never hold that against you, I want you to be happy. I won’t be jealous or anything, building something with your dad would be really good for ye, I’d support you no matter what,” he tried, frowning once more as Aaron shook his head and wiped his eyes. “No, it’s nothing like that… I- Robert, my dad raped me.”


End file.
